The Lie of “Have to”

WARNING: This is a pet peeve rant.

Growing up, I recall adult family members repeatedly saying that I “have to” do something. I had to love person X. I had to work with people I didn’t like. And, many more such statements.

As a young adult, I decided that “have to” was a lie. I do not have to love anyone that I do not want to love, and I most certainly do not have to work with anyone I do not like working with. After much thought, I have decided that the only thing I have to do is die–and as medical science advances that to may one day be a choice. Oh, choice to is a must.

Whether you choose option A, or option B, or no-definite decision, it is all a decision.

Instead of telling our youth “you must” or “you have to,” I suggest telling them “think of the consequences.” This will provides the opportunity for our youth to make rational informed decisions AND helps foster creative thinking.

You might not have to love all of your relatives; however, you may find reasons to have a working relationship with them. This lesson will follow through to work relationships as well.

You most certainly do not have to work with anyone you do not like. You most certainly have the option of quitting. However, what are the consequences of those decisions? Do you have a work contract? What happens if you break that contract? If you don’t have a contract, what will happen when you put in your resignation?

We most certainly do not have to do anything we do not want to do. However, there are consequences to every decision we make. If we want a better life for ourselves and our youth, we need to be able to understand the consequences and be able to predict them.

What lies did you hear while growing up? What do you wish you learned earlier in life? LET ME KNOW!